Where I live, the weather has finally settled into an Autumn rhythm. Autumn brings blistering blue skies by day and chill, crystal-clear nights. Some days are grey and quiet, with overcast evenings delivering beautiful neon sunsets through the clouds. This is my favourite time of year. Autumn fills my chest with awe – there’s something so striking about the way the weather shifts gear and more than any other season, I feel we get to witness the change and live it in real time. It’s also my favourite time of year to train; the joy I feel on runs in the Autumn months is unparalled.
Unsurprisingly, this time of year also prompts reflection, I find myself thinking about the first few months of the year and the remaining months.
In recent weeks, I’ve been reflecting on minority identities in both tech and martial arts. Recently, I was helping a new member of our gym with some escapes from bottom position in jiu jitsu. While demonstrating an escape, I advised her: ‘This technique is great against larger opponents; use their weight and momentum to your advantage. Don’t try to move them—think about moving around them. They are the immovable object, so you move.’
In BJJ this can manifest in many ways, as in tech, both demand problem-solving and creativity, and both thrive on community. I thought of the parallel as I left class and again the following morning, on my run as I listened to Kara Swisher interview Melinda French Gates on her podcast, On.
The reality is, women are a minority in martial arts and so we band together to share knowledge and lift each other up – even in competition – which may be surprising to hear. Before my second boxing match in March, I unexpectedly met my opponent at the check-in desk. Coincidentally, we were both contact lens wearers seeking clarification on waiver advice from the onsite doctor. We chatted about our shared love for the process, exchanged a hug, and agreed to give it our all in the ring.
By happenstance we also share the same first name, which my sister called ‘the battle of best Princess’ However, when I stepped into the ring and looked to the opposite corner, I saw fire in her eyes – this was a different person. From the moment the first bell rang she threw everything at me, and I responded in kind – we gave it everything, which was the ultimate sign of respect.
After the fight, backstage, she congratulated me again. I hugged her and checked if she was okay—her eyes were bruised, panda-esque, which shocked me. She had been tenacious throughout, never backing down; it was all heart, and the bruises bore testament to that. We chatted about how crazy it is to build the comraderie from sharing those minutes in the ring together. Minorities in this brutal and tough sport, we had been through a very unique experience which very few people ever experience.
Tech may not be physically harsh, but being a minority can be emotionally and psychologically tiring. It requires constant effort to create safe spaces for sharing ideas and supporting one another while also challenging each other. French Gates spoke about this broadly with Swisher, and last week I jumped into two meetings with different but inclusive groups; a fortnightly cyber mentoring call with a very diverse and curious community and a lunch and learn with CLG where the community of women sharing knowledge was again abundantly clear. So, lots of inspiration and intersection points across the board.
Maybe that’s the gift in all of this — not just that we’re learning to defend ourselves better, but that we’re daring to stay curious and share the experience along the way.
Seeline CYBER 
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